


When It Rains

by transboyizumida



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 00:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11956023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transboyizumida/pseuds/transboyizumida
Summary: Hi my name is Sei and I specialize in making Bel cry.Set 5 years later.Also please be careful reading this. I graphically describe Mammon's suicide. As a person who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts, it was hard for me to write and I had to stop and take a break in the middle. I don't blame you if you have to hit the back button, ok? Take care of yourself. <3Title taken from the Paramore song of the same name.





	When It Rains

**Author's Note:**

> Hi my name is Sei and I specialize in making Bel cry.
> 
> Set 5 years later.
> 
> Also please be careful reading this. I graphically describe Mammon's suicide. As a person who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts, it was hard for me to write and I had to stop and take a break in the middle. I don't blame you if you have to hit the back button, ok? Take care of yourself. <3
> 
> Title taken from the Paramore song of the same name.

God, it was too bright. It was always too bright. It had been sunny two months ago, and it was sunny on the day he wanted to find some kind of solace in the cemetery. He didn’t even remember a single shower between then and now. Why couldn’t it rain so he could mourn in melodramatic, cliched peace?

The rain would’ve hid the tears now rolling down his cheeks.

“I fucking hate you,” he dropped to the ground, feet meeting sole-to-sole. He let out a choked sob. A sniffle. Then silence.

“I don’t hate you, you know that,” he corrected himself, wiping his nose on the heel of his hand covered by a long, striped sleeve. “They replaced you already. He sucks. His name is Fran. And he’s younger than me. Like ten years younger or something. Can you believe that? I can’t be the baby anymore.”

The black marble gravestone, of course, said nothing in reply. The blonde’s tears had momentarily stopped.

“Well, I guess technically, you were the baby. Kind of,” his smirk belied the new stream of tears.

Up until a few months ago, the Arcobaleno began aging. And getting sick. And dying. He didn’t exactly remember their names, but the Cloud went first, followed by the Lightning. Figures the guy who could run experiments on what exactly was happening would go early.

Mammon and the Rain went to collect intel. They were ambushed. They returned with the Rain’s lifeless body, bloody and shot to hell.

He clutched at the bauble hanging around his neck, lying under his shirt. A bird chirped. The cloud veiling the sun rolled away and brightened up the graveyard. Flecks of minerals in the headstone glinted, glittered under the light. The bird continued to sing it’s shanty.

 _SHUT UP,_  he wanted to say. Instead another sob, louder, more gutteral, left his chest. He brought his knees up to his forehead and cried and trembled. His tiara began to slip forward.

It was a few moments before he realized someone was watching him. This is why he didn’t cry; emotions hindered his finely-honed assassin skills. He let go of his knees and whipped his head around, stabling himself with one hand on the warm grass.

“Leave me alone, Lal,” he barked, a repurposed sob that came out a little bit harsher than intended.

The teal-haired girl stood a few yards away, cradling a small bouquet of flowers. Her brown doe eyes blinked once before approaching. She knew the assassin wouldn’t really follow through on any retaliation he may have been thinking.

“Belphegor…” she spoke, her voice light, not necessarily out of choice. Her body was aging slower than the others, putting her in the preteen range. “I didn’t expect to see you here,” she crouched on the balls of her feet next to the blonde.

“I could say the same,” Bel’s attention turned back to Mammon’s grave “Don’t you have a job to be doing?”

“Don’t you?” Lal replied without missing a beat.

He fell silent and briefly thought about the paperwork on his desk.

“Iemitsu gave me the day off,” she explained. She let out a quiet sigh, “It’s Colonello’s birthday. Er… was, I guess.”

‘Oh. Shit,’ he thought. A legitimate reason to be out here.

“I brought flowers for Mammon as well,” she stood back up and placed them in front of the marker, “I remembered he liked flowers.”

Bel’s shoulders dropped. ‘Don’t fucking show me up, I know I’m a shitty friend.’

She returned to seat herself next to the assassin. She crossed her legs and they sat in silence for a while, letting the sun warm her shoulders and cheeks.

“You were the one that found them, right?” she asked, glancing at Bel.

The tears painfully prickled at his eyes as he nodded. He brought his knees up again and let his chin rest on them.

* * *

_  
Something wasn’t right._

_Bel had never been aware emotionally of anyone, ever. But he knew something wasn’t right. His stomach dropped, and he looked up from his game._

_“Something wrong?” Lussuria glanced up from his magazine._

_“Where’s Mammon?” there was urgency in Bel’s voice that made Lussuria’s brows knit together._

_“I believe he’s in his room, but--” Before he could finish, Bel was on his feet, bolting up the stairs towards the illusionist’s room. He didn’t even care to pause the game on his DS, throwing it on the couch. He felt his throat clench with every corner he turned. What the hell was wrong? Fuck this labyrinth of halls._

_Bel had to brace himself against the door frame to Mammon’s room to brake against his speed. Their door was ajar. They’d never do that, they were too private of a person to let anyone peer into their living space. Bel threw open the door. He was sweating now._

_“Mammon?” he called out. Their room was impeccably clean, as usual. They weren’t there. The air felt heavy._

_‘Their office, maybe?’ But as Bel turned on the ball of his foot to leave, he saw the light on in their adjoining bathroom. That door was also ajar._

_Bel’s breath hitched. There was a soft plap of liquid hitting tile. He reached a shaking hand out to push open the door._

_The scream Bel let out was inhuman. And it scared him._

_Mammon laid in their bathtub, head lolled to the side. One arm was slung over the side of the tub, forearm sliced deeply many times. A strong stream of blood ran down their hand, dripping into a large, growing puddle below, the source of the soft dribbling noise. Their other arm had slipped into the water, turning it a dark and hazy crimson._

_“MAMMON!” Bel dropped to his knees. His voice choked and cracked in the oppressive steam. He reached out and grasped Mammon’s palid face, his sleeves brushing past their cuts and smearing the blood. Their dark eyes were half lidded, dull._

_But that final spark of life... Belphegor watched it leave Mammon’s face._

_He gave another visceral scream. It quickly turned into a sob as he pressed Mammon’s forehead to his own. His tears joined the scalding water in the tub.  
_

* * *

Lal saw that Bel was deep in thought. She reached out to touch his shoulder lightly. “It’s ok,” her words soft. She felt a bit of his tension dissipate under her palm. She guessed that this was the first time he was being consoled, and she frowned at the thought. “I mean…” she bit the inside of her cheek “It’s not ok. It’s not ok that they’re gone. Mammon and Colonello. It’s probably never going to be ok.”

“They haven’t let me cry,” Bel muttered.

“Your team?” Lal raised a brow in shock. Actually, it didn’t surprise her. Not with the oppressive atmosphere in the Varia mansion. Emotions were not something you just aired out for everyone to see when you were a trained killer.

Bel squeezed his eyes shut behind the curtain of blond hair. The tears returned, regardless. He nodded as he brought his forehead to his knees. He brought his hand to the necklace under his shirt again.

‘So that’s where their pacifier went.’ Lal decided not to say anything. She wasn’t the one to judge, especially considering she was holding on to Colonello’s. She didn’t doubt that it had been kept safe, it was just relieving to know that it hadn’t fallen into the wrong hands. She stood.

“If you need someone to talk to or somewhere to cry and vent, you’re welcome in the CEDEF manor,” she smiled despite knowing Bel wasn’t looking up at her, “We won’t tell.”

She turned to leave the cemetery, tears stinging in her own eyes. 

* * *

* * *

 

_Two Years Later_

Lal glanced up at the sky, obscured by the leaves of the carob tree. Clouds rolled by, the sun shone on the beautifully manicured gardens of the Varia grounds.

“Nice day,” the other woman idly commented, just to break the unusual tension.

‘That boy hates nice weather, doesn’t he?’ Lal mused.

“You wanted me?”

Lal was snapped out of her daze by the blond’s blunt voice. His posture was slumped, his hands were shoved in his pockets. He looked back and forth between the two women.

“Yes,” she scooted over on the bench and patted the seat, an invitation to sit. He didn’t budge, only offering a skeptical sneer. She shifted back to her original position, awkwardly biting the inside of her lip.

“You must be Belphegor,” the other woman stepped towards the assassin, outstretching an elegant hand. She held herself professionally with an air of importance. Her blouse was neatly pressed, and her dark hair was tied back. A stark contrast to Lal’s ripped shorts and tee. “My name’s Aria. I’m--”

“The Sky Arcobaleno,” he nodded towards the orange pacifier hanging around her neck. He didn’t move his hand from his pocket to shake her hand. She awkwardly withdrew it.

“Yes,” Aria cleared her throat “I heard you were Mammon’s closest friend.”

“You want their pacifier,” Bel said flatly. The women looked at each other with looks of vague concern. “That’s the only reason the person with the heaviest piece of jewelry any person in the mafia could wear would possibly be out here talking to a fucking Vongola assassin.”

The words were taken out of Aria’s mouth and she was left to move her mouth like a dumb dead fish. She was warned that he had a sharp mind and an even sharper tongue. She could barely get in another word before he interrupted.

“I’m not giving it to you.”

“Bel,” Lal chimed in “She needs it. We need to protect them from--”

“Then when are you going to give her Colonello’s?”

Lal winced. She gave a few blinks in Bel’s direction, hesitant to look at Aria. The regret of confiding in the prince when racked with sorrow turning her stomach and settling in her throat. The Sky Arcobaleno folded her arms across her abdomen, a softly pained expression glazing her face as she downcast her eyes.

“The circumstances are different,” Aria finally spoke.

“Yeah. They are,” Bel snapped, flashing his teeth like a cornered animal. He pulled on the chain under his shirt, bringing out the indigo pacifier that had kept close to his heart for the past two years. It was dull and distressed, having lost its light the moment life left Mammon. “It is fucking different. This is the only possession of theirs I could save. That I was _allowed_ to save.” He began to tremble, his words accented with a weak snarl. He wasn’t aware of the tears that were flowing until he felt one drip from his chin onto his shirt. “We got rid of all the shit in their room. All of their clothes, their furniture, their _everything_. Let that fucking _brat_ move in and do whatever the fuck he wanted, and mess up their office and room, and _IT’S LIKE THEY WERE NEVER HERE_.” Bel’s voice splintered and cracked into loud sobs. He didn’t care if he was probably close enough to the manor for anyone on his team to hear. It hurt and he _didn’t care_.

“Belphegor,” Aria’s voice was soft, and somehow cut through the blonde’s crying.

“Shut the fuck up!!” he yelled. Bel yanked on the chain, snapping it off his neck, separating himself from it for the first time in two years. He threw it at Aria’s feet, hitting the dirt path with a clap. “I don’t fucking need it anymore,” he grit his teeth before turning on his heel and trudging back towards the mansion.

“Bel!” Lal called and stood up, reaching a hand out in his direction.

This only caused him to break into a sprint.


End file.
